How Well Do You Know Your Social Titles?
Do you really need to know your Social Titles? If there’s one thing certain about wedding invitations, it’s that you’ll be addressing, or having your wedding invitations addressed. Right?
That’s a “No Biggie,” when you first think about it. But in this digital age, when was the last time you sat down and addressed an envelope? Let alone a large number of envelopes??
And, like everything else when it comes to wedding invitations, there IS a proper way to do it – to address wedding invitation envelopes.
For more on the proper addressing of wedding invitations, you’ll want to make sure to read our post here on “The Proper Way to Address Wedding Invitations.”
But yet! Even before one is ready to begin learning the proper way to address wedding invitations, one must first refresh their knowledge of the proper use of Social Titles – as in Mr., Mrs., etc.
Because, the last time you addressed someone by their social title was like . . . When?
LOL!
So, if you’d like to make sure you know your social titles, below, with help from Crane & Company’s Wedding Blue Book, The Definitive Guide to Wedding Correspondence Etiquette and Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, I’ve put together a (hopefully) helpful infographic to refer to, as you’re filling out your addressing spreadsheet that you’ll happily be handing over to your wedding invitation stationer, or calligrapher, to slave over work with.
And if you will personally be addressing said wedding invitation envelopes, there’s a special place reserved in Protocol Heaven for you. : )
And PLEASE make sure to pay special attention to the proper use of the social title MRS., as it’s a social title that most think they are, but are not, quite familiar with!!
The protocol for the correct usage of “Mrs.” just might surprise you.
Know Your Social Titles
Mr.
a male, 18 or older. Married or single.
No title is used for boys age 8 to 17.
Master
address a boy
7 or younger.
Ms.
Use Ms. to address
females, 18 or older. Married or single.
Miss
Use Miss to address
a girl, age 8 to 17.
Miss
than 8.
Know Your Social Titles: Proper Usage For "Mrs."
Married
Divorced
Mrs.
The proper use of "Mrs."
In the United States, traditionally, a wife takes her husband’s name.
Only then, upon taking his name, does her title change to Mrs.
Below are the two correct usages for the title “Mrs.”
Mrs. John Smith
As noted above, traditionally a wife takes her husband’s name. This does not just signify only taking his last name. She now becomes Mrs. “Husband’s Name.”
Mrs. Jane Smith
The use of Mrs. before a woman’s first name signifies that she is divorced from the man whose name she took upon marrying.
Know Your Social Titles: Proper Usage For "Mr. and Mrs."
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
When a wife takes her husband’s name, the couple is properly addressed as Mr. and Mrs. “Husband’s Name.”
The joined title, “Mr. and Mrs.” is reserved solely for this situation, where a woman takes her husbands name.
Know Your Social Titles: Improper Usage of "Mr. and Mrs."
X "Mr. and Mrs. John Taylor-Smith" X
In the example above, though the wife has added her husband’s last name, her husband remains “Mr. John Smith.” He is not, “Mr. John Taylor-Smith.”
Therefore it’s highly improper to address the couple as, “Mr. and Mrs. John Taylor-Smith.”
X "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Taylor-Smith" X
A married woman who retains, or hyphenates, her last name, remains a Ms. and does not become a “Mrs.” She has not taken her husband’s name. Using “Mrs.” before her first name signifies she’s divorced.
Therefore it’s improper to address the couple as “Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Taylor-Smith.”
The proper form of address in this, or similar situations is, “Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Taylor-Smith.”
Additional Improper Usage
In all my years serving the Wedding Invitation Industry, I’ve not seen a more glaring error than the error of splitting titles from their names.
Though many a young bride may well feel the fraternal pull of elevating her sisters (no pun intended) by also mentioning their first names when addressing the couple, NEVER should a person’s title ever be separated from its last name, as in:
X "Mr. John and Ms. Jane Smith" X
This contrivance has essentially separated Mr. Smith from his last name. He is not Mr. John and he is not Mr. Jane Smith. His name is Mr. John Smith. He has lost his last name.
The absolute only time to use two titles with one last name is when referring to a married couple where the wife has taken the husband’s full name. Else-wise, for the above preference of mentioning the wife’s first name, the correct usage would be:
Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith
It pains me to have to mention that using two titles with only one (1) last name should NEVER, EVER (let me repeat that), NEVER EVER! be used for anything other than married couples!
NEVER should it be used for something such as addressing a mother and a daughter, as in:
!!X "Mrs. Jane and Ms. Jennifer Smith" X!!
Please don’t ask why I felt the need to mention this . . . (Cousin Ashley!)
And there you have it! Our deep dive into the proper usage of Social Titles!
I hope this helps in your pursuit to correctly address your wedding invitation envelopes!
But remember, getting your social titles correct is just the first step. Properly addressing your invitations is a whole different ball game! And again, you can find our post on The Proper Way to Address Wedding Invitations here.
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